Being a Financial Neutral
In my role as a Chartered Financial Divorce Specialist, I often get the question, “Who do I represent?” The short answer is “Both”. This answer is sometimes confusing to the individual that is looking to hire me because they are looking for assistance to get as good a deal as they can from their soon to be “exes”.
It has been my experience over my 30+ years of being in the financial services industry, that most people think that to get ahead, another person must lose. It is often assumed that in the competitive marketplace that we live in, that all the wealth available is akin to a circumscribed pie, which can only be divided in such a way that is perfectly 50/50, with no allowance for creativity.
Separation and divorce are most often an acrimonious event in couples’ and family’s lives. In a recent case that I was witness to, a common-law couple were splitting up after 11 years. From the outset, both the man and woman said that they wanted the best for their two children.
When it came time to show the assets, incomes and liabilities, both the husband and wife became protective and vague about what they had or did not have. When it came time to show their debt, they both were overstating the severity of each of their obligations and debts. Assets were understated, income was tenuous, and debts were extremely hard to deal with. Life was extremely hard indeed!
It became important to remind them that my job as a Chartered Financial Divorce Specialist, was to be a “Financial Neutral”. My job is to serve them to reach their stated goal to do the best possible for their benefit of the children. In short, I was working with each of them to build a financial plan that they could follow until both children finished their post-secondary education.
Collaborative problem solving is an ideal that is foreign to many of us, especially when emotions are high. It is for this reason, I encourage clients to work with family counsellors, mediators and lawyers that specialize in this type of dispute resolution. The alternative is usually a long and protracted fight.