Keeping Your Cool
Recently, a person engaged my services as a Chartered Financial Divorce Specialist. This person told me stories of how the eventual “x” had been a totally bad person throughout their marriage.
The stories of the soon to be “x’s” faults were mainly about laziness, bad financial management, ego and even narcissism. There was no mention of physical abuse or infidelity.
It was clear from my new client that the marriage envisioned was not the marriage realized. The result of this eight-year debacle is only a pile of debt that one person created, but that the other owns.
Now that the person with the debt realizes that they have been taken advantage of, anger and resentment is taking over. It was important for me to educate this person about the difference between Reacting and Responding. As difficult as it is, responding to a situation is always better than reacting. It is vital to keep ones cool in these seemingly high-stakes negotiations with people who have disappointed you.
In a September 16, article in “Psychology Today”, Dr. Matt James wrote about the need to build a foundation on forgiveness rather than fighting. The attached article may be useful to those of you in a high stress situation like separation and divorce. In conclusion, you should never go through life’s difficulties on your own. People like pastors, counsellors, lawyers and other specialists, like myself, are to help!